Tag Archive for: Trust

Do you trust me?

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For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9

I read this above paragraph on a very difficult day.  God knew that my heart was heavy and that I needed a breath of fresh air.  This was the day that my dad found out he was going to have to have a feeding tube put in.  At this point, it had been over two weeks since he had eaten.  They first tried the picc line because it was less invasive and they had hoped dad could build his strength up with this.  Unfortunately, dad did not make enough progress.  He just wasn’t able to get his swallow to work the way that it needed to.  I remember dad’s brokenness this day as he responded to his need for the feeding tube.  I watched tears flow from his eyes.  It was so hard to see my dad broken.

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God is Here

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Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-24

I can’t remember the exact day that we got this white board for dad but I remember the moment.  My brother in law Michael thought of it.  We were trying so desperately to communicate with dad but hand gestures can only go so far.  Mike thought about getting a board with letters on it for dad.  So we did that and dad started to communicate with us.  Then came the white board with a marker.  At first, everything seemed like a scribble and was so hard to read.  We asked a lot of questions and did our best to understand what dad was writing.  As time went on, dad’s scribbles became more legible and easier to read.  His messages were a breath of fresh air to all of us.

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My Anxiety Disappeared

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The days after dad’s accident were full of anxiety for me.  I had such a difficult time sleeping at night as the second I laid my head down the anxiety would hit me.  That anxiety went through the roof the day I landed in Minneapolis, MN on my way to see my dad.  I was overwhelmed by it and had no idea what I would be walking in to when I saw dad.  The drive from Minneapolis to Saint Cloud felt like forever.  I sat there praying and asking God to calm my fears.  Then we arrived at the hospital.  The walk from the parking garage to dad’s room felt like the longest walk I’ve ever taken.  I tried to stay calm and keep my emotions in check.  I was wondering if my dad would recognize me, would he know who I was, and how would he respond!

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Waking Up

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The next phase that I want to share the blessings from is when Dad finally woke up.  It was so tough waiting for that moment.  But I’m so thankful that it came.  It was a slow process getting out each and every tube that dad’s body was depending on.  I remember calling one night while my sister Rachel was staying with Dad.  She put the phone next to his ear so I could read the Bible to him.  It was a beautiful moment that I cherish because I was given the opportunity to give back to my dad something that he has been giving me for 30 plus years.

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It’s Never Fun Waiting

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The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. (Lamentations 3:25-26)

I’m sharing the picture above because I don’t think anyone can fully appreciate a present moment without acknowledging how difficult the past moments were.  I look back to see how bad it was so I can appreciate how good it is now.

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