He sees you

Mother’s day. (sigh)

Wait, sweet friend, before you scroll, swipe, or click away. I have a couple of questions for you.

Is this day a painful reminder of what you’ve lost?

Do you feel hopeless, forgotten, invisible, or abandoned?

Do you know, you’re not the only one who feels this way? I promise you are not alone.

I know, for many, Mothers day is full of celebration, honor, hope, and much JOYIf you’re in that season, I am rejoicing with you! On the contrary, if you answered yes to the previous questions and what you are feeling is a sense of dread, hopelessness, loss, fear, abandonment, anger, and grief, I grieve with you.

There’s a myriad of scenarios and life stages that have the potential to make this Mother’s day bittersweet for you, if not just bitter entirely. You see, Mothers day hasn’t always held joy for me. For many years all I felt was the pain.  

I recall getting ready for church on Mother’s day every year and having to push beyond the tears to even walk through the doors. I swore if Pastor spoke one more time about Hannah I would drop kick him. (very Christian of me, I know!)

Year after year, the same scene would play out. I’d sit there in service feeling as though a spotlight of heat was on me and everyone saw my pain and pitied me.

I feared their questions. Did they wonder what was wrong with me or what I had done that God hadn’t given me a child yet? I always wished I could just crawl in some hole for the day or find a greater reason to stay home entirely. (as if all of that wasn’t reason enough)

I wondered often if God could even hear me, see me, and did he really know what was best or was I being punished? I wanted desperately to be seen by God yet I only felt naked to the world. How is it that one can feel naked and invisible at the same time?

To the enemy, your pain is an easy target. He aims to hit you where it hurts.  For me, every pregnant woman was an opportunity that the enemy used to remind me of how inadequate I must be, how undeserving, and how defective I was. 

Was I invisible to God? This was the question that burned deeply through pain, searing it to my soul. Having given into the enemies lies, his words became my own. Muttering them under my breath, thoughts of them would run rampant through my days and I became what I believed.

I found myself so broken, wounded at my own hand and my fractured soul hurt those around me.

Maybe you’ve never walked through the deep waters of loss, infertility or grief. Perhaps you only recognize my words by the way someone else has treated you. Then there are others of you and this is partially your story. Maybe you are thinking about how I must have read your mail!

If you find yourself on the “waiting” side of life, I’ve been there and friend, I hope you can believe me when I say it won’t always be unclear. One day you’ll be looking back too. 

When I look back over all the pain of what I felt were wasted years, I see things so differently. Now glancing at the entrusted story of my life through his eyes, I recognize where he carried me and understand how it shaped me. I can see how all the pain made preparation for my breakthroughs and are now area’s of strength.

I’ve heard it said something like this…

Our area of greatest weakness is actually our area of greatest strength and influence, still in process. 

Thank you JESUS!

I understand now His name, El Roi, “The God who sees me”.  I come to you today to share His hope. He sees YOU!  It’s in his name, his nature, and who he is. 

So I’ve come to know and understand that when I feel the most alone in my grief, God is there and holds every single moment. El Roi, He sees ME! His hands, wet with my tears, lifts my chin and tells me who I am. He tells me that I am worthy, chosen, whole, beautiful, loved and restored! God has broken through the hurt and erased the words carved by pain.

Those who sow their tears as seeds

will reap a harvest with joyful shouts of glee. Psalm 126:5 (TPT)

Have you sown your tears as seeds? Or have your tears merely made the ground wet and your feet muddy?

The only place your tears can be sown as seeds is at the feet of Jesus. Will you come with me there?

I’d love for you to pray this prayer with me.

Father God,

Thank you for always seeing me. For catching every single tear that falls from my face. Thank you for knowing what my heart needs most, this is you. Father, forgive me when I’ve questioned your love because you had me wait or your answer was no. Grant me the desires of my heart as you’ve given them to me. In asking, I trust your timing, your plan and your purpose in it all. Through my pain I will praise you, in each sorrow I’ll lift up your name. For you alone are my refuge and my strength. You are my reward. Amen

I believe this video will encourage your heart this Mother’s day.

https://youtu.be/sz81dIfwf4Y

Anchor of Hope

When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, saying, ‘I will surely bless you and give you many descendants.’  And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.

Men swear by someone greater than themselves, and the oath confirms what is said and puts an end to all argument. Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure…” (Hebrews 6:13-19)

I was reading Hebrews today and some thing struck me about this passage of scripture. God never gives up on us. When He says He will do something, He means it. This shows me a few things about who God is and challenges me to become more like His Son in every way possible. Here is what I have found:

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Love Beyond Measure

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Annie Johnson Flint has a remarkable story of her love for God and her dedication to live her life for Him during some very difficult times. I encourage you to read Annie’s story. Annie did not let the difficult things of life weigh her down. She did not give up hope, she never gave into circumstances, and she always knew God would see her through. Her poems can be found at Blessed Quietness. And her story can be found at the following link Annie’s Biography. I promise that you will not be wasting your time by checking out either link or both. I tend to go back to Annie’s poems as often as possible and I am encouraged by her steady stand in the Lord. She did not waiver. The poem below reminds us that God’s grace is enough! His grace will always be enough. May you stand in that Truth today!

He Giveth More Grace

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction He addeth His mercy;
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limit; His grace has no measure.
His pow’r has no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again!

By:  Annie Johnson Flint

God’s love has NO limit. His grace has NO measure. His power has NO boundary known to men. We are living for the One, True, all powerful God who has no limits, no measure for His grace, and no boundaries to His power in our lives! These very words should make us excited that we serve a God who cares. We are serving the only One who matters! God has cared about you before it even mattered to you. There was a day you weren’t even thinking about it and neither was I, but God was. God has always been thinking about you and loving you. He’ll never stop! Child you are His! His grace abounds for you and it is more than sufficient for you!

Dear Father God, Thank You for reminding me that I am Yours and Your grace is enough for me. I don’t understand a lot of things, but I do understand that Your grace will be enough for me! I’m so glad that Your power knows no limits, Your grace no measure, and Your love no end.

Originally posted in 2015

Living in Your Grace,
Sarah Malanowski, author

The Cleaning Bug

I have to admit that I’ve been bit by the Cleaning Bug. Now that doesn’t mean that I’m actually cleaning anything. Rather it’s a fascination with these amazing people who like to blog and run Facebook groups about cleaning. You can really learn some interesting information.

Like, once you get the waxy residue left from window cleaners off of your windows and glass, you can simply and quickly clean them with club soda and never have streaks again. Wow!

But the best are the videos of other people cleaning things with pressure washers and the like. It’s amazing really and can completely suck away 5 minutes of your life watching the repetitive motion of the sprayer going back and forth as beautifully cleaned surfaces are revealed. It’s addicting in a therapeutic way. LOL!

There is no physical way to effectively and thoroughly clean driveways and sidewalks without a pressure cleaner. Man power just can’t do it. This got me to thinking about how God has cleaned our hearts from all the stains of sin. He did it through the Christ Jesus sacrificial death and resurrection. Once and for all.

But how silly would it be for me to say that I need to get my scrub brush out and clean my driveway after I just had it pressure washed? It would be ridiculous. You’d think I was crazy if I started telling you how incredibly filthy the driveway was and then acted like I could do something to make it better.

How many times do we do this to ourselves. Jesus has already cleansed our hearts and even now calls us clean. It’s our faith that believes He did it.

“You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.”
John 15:3 ESV

I know this analogy isn’t perfect because eventually my driveway will need that pressure washer again. But my heart won’t. Thanks be to our loving father who made sure that Jesus’ sacrifice was once and for all.

“Then he said, ‘Here I am, I have come to do your will.’….  And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.”
Hebrews 10: 9-10 NIV

I want to learn to catch myself before I start to call filthy what He has made clean. I am becoming today what I will be tomorrow. So right now, I’m going to practice acting like who I really am in Christ. Clean! Free from the guilt and stain of sin.

I am already clean!

Love,

You Are Radiant

Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

Psalm 34:5  ESV

 

Radiant. What a word. David, the author of the Psalms, did not use the word beautiful, joyful, or even happy. He used radiant. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, radiant is defined as:

radiant

adjective | ra·di·ant  | \ˈrā-dē-ənt\

1a: radiating rays or reflecting beams of light
1b: vividly bright and shining : glowing
2: marked by or expressive of love, confidence, or happiness

radiant smile

3a : emitted or transmitted by radiation
3b : emitting or relating to radiant heat

 

My favorite definition of radiant is “vividly bright and shining : glowing.” It gives a glowing visual of the way we all will be in heaven, and on top of that, Christ promises to make us like that now! He will enable us to radiate to the world around us, and through that, people will see that we have hope in Jesus Christ. For we, as Christ followers, are not looking to this world, our families, or even to our careers, but to Christ!

Through Isaiah 40:31, Jehovah-Jireh (“The Lord Will Provide”) gives us a promise when we hope in Him: “For those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings as eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will run and not grow faint.” He promises to take care of us when we hope in Him! We are constantly surrounded by all the promises he gives us and all we have to do is to accept them!

So as you run your race throughout the day, remember to hope in the Lord and that He will make your face RADIANT!

Love,

Isabella