I wrote the following letter to my dad on April 22nd, five days after the accident.
I thought for sure the hardest thing I ever went through was the trauma after Zion’s birth. But I was wrong. God was only using that to prepare me for this moment. This has truly become my new hardest moment to walk through.
In some ways I feel like the hardest part of this is yet to come. At least with the surgeries and tubes we had something to be thankful for every day. Now it’s just a waiting game. And none of us are good at that. I can honestly say I’m hating the waiting right now but I keep telling myself that God has a plan.
Isn’t that what you have taught me through the years. Nothing is too big for God! You have taught me how to walk through difficult times with my head held high and my eyes fixed on Jesus. You have taught me to glean from God’s Word during difficult times like this and cling to His promises with all my might.
I can say that this currently stinks. It’s been so hard to walk down this road but I keep thinking of all the lessons you have taught me through the years. You have taught me not to fear by teaching me 2 Timothy 1:7,
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (KJV)
You have taught me to be ready to give an answer always for my hope by teaching me 1 Peter 3:15,
“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…”
You have taught me to trust in God by teaching me Proverbs 3:5-6,
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (NASB)
You have taught me to cling to God’s promises and rejoice in His plan by teaching me Romans 8:28,
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (NKJV)
You have taught me to be patient and loving. To be humble, giving God glory, and never boasting in myself. To boast in only The Lord. To be a servant for God alone. To live my life with purpose and daily give God my all!
You have taught me how to have the mind of Christ, to stay focused, to listen to the Holy Spirit, to seek wisdom from godly sources, to have a teachable spirit, to work with my siblings during crises, and to give my all for God alone.
Dad, you are my hero. You are the one I want to be like because you are so much like The Lord. You have given me a heart to share the Gospel, to be bold, and never ashamed. Thank you for teaching me all this and so much more! I praise God that your my dad and look forward to gleaning from your wisdom for many years to come. Yes, I said years! Because you taught me to have faith in God and that even faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. Well, right now I’m ready to move a mountain. Ready to watch God work and do what only He can do. I love you so much dad!
Dear Father God, Please watch over my Papa! Please give him the strength to endure this current trial. Please use him in abundant ways to advance Your purpose. Please continue to keep his eyes fixed on Jesus. And please give him a full recovery. Thank You Lord!
Thankful for my Dad!