What Follows "I am" or I have"....Follows You

By Kim Hayes

When we talk about who we are and what we have in our personal lives, those words can become the banner we carry.

Think about how often we begin sentences with “I am” or “I have.”

I am ugly.
I am unworthy.
I am not good enough.
I am {insert word here}.

I have anxiety.
I have depression.
I have {insert word here}.

At first, these may seem like simple statements. Just words.

But words are powerful.

What follows “I am” or “I have” can begin to shape the way we see ourselves, the way we think about ourselves, and ultimately the way we understand our identity.

What Are You Speaking Over Yourself?

When we repeatedly make identifying statements about ourselves, we can begin to define ourselves by those statements.

And when we say them out loud, post them on social media, or share them in conversations, we can also give others permission to see us through those same words.

So I want you to stop for a moment and ask yourself:

How do I see myself?

Do I define myself by my struggles?

Do I define myself by my mistakes?

Do I define myself by what someone else said about me?

Do I define myself by something that happened to me?

Or do I define myself by what God says about me?

Because there is a difference between experiencing something and allowing that thing to become your identity.

You may experience anxious thoughts, but anxiety does not get to determine who you are.

You may experience seasons of sadness or depression, but that struggle does not get to tell you who you are.

You may have made mistakes, but your mistakes do not become your identity.

There is more to you than the thing you are struggling with.

Words Are Powerful

Scripture reminds us that our words carry tremendous power.

Proverbs 18:21 tells us:

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

That should make us pause.

What are we speaking over ourselves?

Are our words building us up or tearing us down?

Are we speaking life or death?

Are we repeating the labels the world has placed on us, or are we learning to speak from the identity God has given us?

Words can become habits. And habits can become beliefs.

That is why changing the way we speak about ourselves can be one small but incredibly meaningful step toward changing the way we see ourselves.

Your Struggle Is Not Your Identity

I want to be careful here because I am not suggesting that we ignore serious struggles or pretend they don't exist.

Anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, insecurity, and other struggles are real. They deserve to be acknowledged, addressed, and, when needed, treated with professional support.

But there is a difference between saying:

“I am broken.”

and

“I am experiencing something that is hurting me, but it does not define who I am.”

There is a difference between:

“I am unworthy.”

and

“I have believed that I am unworthy, but that isn't what God says about me.”

There is power in changing the language.

Instead of allowing a struggle to become your identity, acknowledge what you're experiencing without handing it the authority to define you.

You are not simply the hardest thing you've ever walked through.

You are not your worst day.

You are not your biggest mistake.

You are not someone else's opinion of you.

And you are certainly not the labels that have been placed on you.

Remember Whose You Are

First and foremost, we have to remember that we are children of God.

God created you intentionally.

You were not an accident.

You were not created without purpose.

And when we constantly speak negatively about ourselves, we can lose sight of the One who created us.

Jesus said:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
— John 10:10

The enemy would love nothing more than for you to believe that your identity is found in your brokenness, your past, your failures, your fears, or your struggles.

But Jesus came so that we could have life—and have it abundantly.

Your identity belongs in Him.

Look at Your Younger Self

Here's something I want you to try.

If you have a picture of yourself when you were younger, find it.

Put it somewhere you will see it every day—maybe on your bathroom mirror.

Then, the next time you have a negative thought about yourself, look at that little girl.

Ask yourself:

Would I say this to her?

Would I tell her she is ugly?

Would I tell her she isn't good enough?

Would I tell her she's unworthy?

Would I tell her she doesn't matter?

Probably not.

So why are we willing to say those things to ourselves now?

That little girl is still a part of you.

She deserves compassion.

She deserves grace.

And so do you.

Break the chains. Break the cycle.

Start Changing Your “I Am”

This doesn't mean you will wake up tomorrow and suddenly believe everything you're speaking.

It takes practice.

It takes intention.

And sometimes it takes a lot of repetition.

But start somewhere.

Instead of:

“I am unworthy.”

Try:

“I am worthy.”

Instead of:

“I am not good enough.”

Try:

“I am enough because God created me with purpose.”

Instead of allowing a struggle to become your identity, acknowledge what you're experiencing while reminding yourself:

“This is something I am walking through. It is not who I am.”

Speak it.

Write it down.

Put it on your mirror.

Say it when you don't believe it.

Say it again tomorrow.

And the next day.

Eventually, the words you're practicing can begin to change the way you think.

You Are Not Your Words

If I could leave you with one thing today, it would be this:

You are not the negative words you've spoken over yourself.

You don't have to continue carrying the labels that have been placed on you.

You don't have to let your past write the rest of your story.

And you don't have to allow your struggles to become your identity.

God says something different about you.

You are His.

You are created with purpose.

You are loved.

You are valuable.

You are not forgotten.

So be intentional about what you speak over your life.

The next time you hear yourself say “I am…”, stop and ask:

Is this what God says about me?

And when you hear yourself say “I have…”, ask:

Am I describing something I'm experiencing, or am I allowing it to become my identity?

Changing the way you speak about yourself may seem like a small step.

But sometimes a small step, taken every single day, is exactly how we begin to walk into something bigger.

It's time to rise.

It's time to remember who you are.

And it's time to walk boldly into the purpose God has for you.

Start with your words.

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