My Insecurity ~ What Will People Think of Me

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Galatians 1:10)

Can I be honest for a minute?  I’m getting so tired of the same old stinking trap of my enemy, “What will people think of me?”  Oh, it’s exhausting.  Let’s just call it like it is… an ugly package of insecurity and pride.  That’s why I write.  It’s the one place I can be completely honest and share what is on my heart.  I know not everyone approves of this.  Some people think it could tarnish my reputation if I share too much.  But honestly it’s not my reputation I’m concerned about.  I want to make Jesus known.  I’m more concerned about not saying enough about my Savior than saying too much!  I want to be an ambassador for Jesus and live a life that’s above reproach.

Do your remember when David was bringing back the Ark of the Covenant to the people of Israel?  Here he was dancing on the street for all to see.  He was worshipping God and celebrating that the ark was coming back home.  But as Michal, his wife, watched from the window, a heart of bitterness stirred within her.  She was displeased with David’s appearance.  She did not like how he was acting even though what he was doing was for the glory of God.  She did not approve of him or his actions.  That bitterness stirred in her and by the time David came home she was ready to explode.  It was a nasty scene.  Here is how it played out…

When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!”

David said to Michal, “It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord’s people Israel–I will celebrate before the Lord.  I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes…”  (2 Samuel 6:20-22)  To read more of this story read 2 Samuel 6 here.

There David was ready to proclaim a blessing on his home, but because of Michal being concerned about herself and how she looked before others, she missed out on the blessing.  We miss out on the blessings of God when we care more about what others think than what God thinks.  When I get to Heaven God’s not going to say, “what did so-and-so think about you?”  He won’t care. He will care how I lived my life for Him.  He will care that I gave my best, that I was more concerned about my character in Christ than my reputation before man.  He will care how I represented Christ in everything I said and did.  Every area of my life should be permeated with a sweetness that only comes from spending time with Jesus on a daily basis.

Please listen to me when I say, the enemy wants to shut us up.  And he does this by making us care more about what this world thinks than what God thinks. Don’t let anyone else occupy the throne of your heart by caring about what they think.  Live for God alone!  You can’t go wrong when you live to please him. Tim Keller put it well when he said, “I don’t care what you think of me.  I don’t even care what I think of me.  All that matters is what God thinks of me.” (from his book The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness)

All I care about is what God thinks of me!  That’s it!  Nothing else matters to me. Hopefully, by me caring what He thinks about me will permeate every other area of my life in a positive way. It will be a domino effect of goodness as I surrender myself to be used for His glory.  So I will continue to write and sometimes I will share the ugliest of times in my life.  I will talk about being hurt, frustrated, angry, bitter, etc.  Because these emotions are real.  I fight a real enemy every single day.  In fact, Ephesians 6:12 reminds me that “my struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (emphasis mine).”

I will fight tooth and nail against my enemy.  I will allow God to use me even through my ugliness.  I pray that my greatest weakness advances his greatest strength, I pray that my foolishness only advances his wisdom, and I pray that my brokenness only promotes the healing power of His hands.

Thank you for giving me a safe place to share the burdens of my heart and learn what it means to truly be victorious in Christ!  Please subscribe to get my newsletters and devotionals if you would like to continue to hear about what God is doing in my life, how he is faithful through my storms, and how I’m learning to be victorious through it all.  Subscribe Here.  I don’t always get it right and the tone of this devotional may sound a little rough in some spots. But honestly I’m just angry with the enemy.  I’m tired of fighting my flesh.  I want to daily overcome the battle that ensues in my mind.  I want to be more Christlike in everything I say and do.

“Therefore humble yourselves [demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation] under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you.”  (1 Peter 5:6, AMP)  

I choose to only care about what God thinks of me and in that I pray that Christ will be represented well in my actions and words.  May I only be consumed with how well I represent Christ and not what people think of me as I do it. Will you join me in this battle against the enemy?  Will you come with me on a journey to be a better ambassador of Christ in everything we say and do, that we may reflect the work of God in our lives?

Dear Father God, Please forgive me for every time that I have ever cared about what others think of me.  I’m sorry!  I’m sorry for the times I’ve placed their opinion above your calling on my life.  I’m sorry for giving heed to my enemy for even a second.  Lord, please teach me on a daily basis what it means to be more Christlike and how to walk that out in a state of humility.  I am here on this earth to serve you. No one else!  Please use me to advance your purpose alone and as I do that may the dominoes fall in a way that honors You!  

Forever in God’s Grip of Grace,