When I Feel Weary

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Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap, if we do not give in. (Galatians 6:9, AMP)

Sometimes that weary feeling just hits me. I can be doing well but then the words of others or their actions just drag me down. I don’t do well with negativity and today I reached my limit. It dragged me down more than I would like to admit. I know better. I know better than to let anyone’s words or actions affect me in such a way, but sometimes it just happens. That feeling of weariness. I ran to the Word. I needed fresh strength. I needed renewed vision. I needed a fresh outpouring of the Lord as I was supposed to get on the phone for a recorded radio interview. Yikes! Right now, really?!? Not feeling it! LOL.

So what do I do when I feel weary, I run back into the Lord’s arms. He is my Abba Father. He saw this weariness coming. He knew I would hit my limit. He knows me. He sees me. He never lets me down. In these moments I choose to trust Him, I seek guidance in His Word and comfort for my weary soul. The words that breathe life right back into me are familiar at this point, they are some of the same verses I’ve run to since childhood. But yet, each time I arrive at this weary place God uses those very same verses to infuse strength back into me one more time. I’m so glad that God never runs out of patience. That He is loving and kind! That He knows me better than I know myself. Today, one of the verses that I find refuge in is…

But those who wait for the LORD [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] will gain new strength and renew their power; they will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]; they will run and not become weary, they will walk and not grow tired. (Isaiah 40:31, AMP)

I wrote a book about this very passage at one time. It’s called His Hope for Your Destiny, it was a book I wrote during a storm in my life. A storm that was determined to take me down but I was ever focused on what the Lord wanted to teach me through that storm. That’s the same kind of laser like focus I need right now as I face a current battle. A battle I find myself a little consumed by. But that right there gives you an idea of where my eyes have been. My eyes have been looking at the storm, not looking at the Protector in the storm.

That’s it! Today, I will wait on the Lord. I will not let this storm overcome me. I will use this current storm to rise on the wings of an eagle. I will not let my enemy win. God has a plan. A purpose! I’m on the front lines with this whole Priceless thing and the enemy will do whatever he can to distract me from God’s calling on my life. Today, I’m making a decision to run. I will keep my eyes on the Author and Perfecter of my faith. I will not let this storm or any storm after this dictate how I feel. I serve the Lord who is in control! He will never fail me.

I will choose to focus on my Savior. That is my word for 2018! My theme. Funny how that word comes into play during this storm. Focus! Yes, I will focus on what matters. I will focus on the King of Kings. I will focus on my Savior! I will focus on the Maker of the Universe! Today, I lift my eyes up to the hills. I know where my help comes from. He’s got me! And He’s got you! You can trust Him!

Shall I look to the mountain gods for help? No! My help is from Jehovah who made the mountains! And the heavens too! He will never let me stumble, slip, or fall. For he is always watching, never sleeping. (Psalm 121:1-3, TLB)

Lord, I took my eyes off of you today and focused a little more on my troubles than I should have. Thank you for catching me and reminding me that You have me! I’m Yours! I can trust You! So though my heart still aches a little and my body still feels a tad weary, I will focus on You! I will trust Your plan for my life and press into You with a little more today!

Living Loved,

Sarah Malanowski, author

In the Boat

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When He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him. 24 And suddenly a violent storm arose on the sea, so that the boat was being covered by the waves; but Jesus was sleeping. 25 And the disciples went and woke Him, saying, “Lord, save us, we are going to die!” 26 He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?” Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was [at once] a great and wonderful calm [a perfect peacefulness]. Matthew 8:23-26

It was Sunday morning, my first service back to church since my hysterectomy 2 weeks prior. Issues from a long battle with endometriosis led me to that end, but I’ll share more about that another time. {wink}

After service, as a family, we discuss what was spoken about in our classes and in our worship services. It’s always a fun time to look through the kid’s crafts and read over their papers from the week and share with them what we learned in “big church” and how God spoke to our hearts and into our lives. Each of them had talked about the account from the above text in Matthew 8. When Jesus was knocked out during a storm with His disciples. (This blog post’s picture is the crafts that they made.)

We talked about how sometimes it can be so scary when it is storming here and how they can violently wake us up while we are lying still, cozy and comfy in our beds!! And how there no waves or water we have to deal with, but how even in the midst, that it didn’t faze our Lord, because after-all He created it. He is in charge and all-powerful. We continued sharing about what a blessing it is to never have to be scared of anything and even if there are scary things going on around us- we don’t have to be afraid- because in the boat of life, Jesus is always in it with us.

Well, I didn’t think much of it after that, and was thankful for the truth but not clinging onto it for any particular reason.

The next day, I was having some small complications from the surgery but nothing serious so I called the doctor on call to ask her about it (because of course this happened on a holiday). I had stood a little more that Sunday with it being New Year’s and all. So I thought maybe that was what was causing some of the issues. The doctor told me to stay off my feet and rest and as the evening came I decided to finish setting up my prayer closet and after I got finished I prayed and spent some time with the Lord and boy, it was so sweet.  But as I got up I felt something and to my surprise things had worsened… I told my husband and decided to call the doctor again. Within about 15 minutes I headed up stairs to only find that it had intensified to the point where it was alarming. The doctor gave me a solution to see if we could deal with it, but in the next hour we were headed to the ER.

On the way, we contacted our family, friends and church family asking them to start praying. Immediately what came to mind was that Jesus was right there with me- HE was in the boat with me. I couldn’t do a thing but cling to that fact. What was happening to me could have severe consequences, but I didn’t have to fear because I wasn’t alone. So through tears, I just kept repeating to myself, Jesus, You’re in the boat. Jesus, You control the winds and the waves of what is happening. Jesus, You can make it stop at any time. Jesus, because You’re with me I don’t have to be afraid.

There are times in life when we can choose to panic and fear or trust that Jesus is in the boat and experience the peace that only He can bring. Will it be terrifying? It could be. Was I concerned? YES!!!! But did I have peace? Whew, like you wouldn’t believe. Because I was clinging to the fact that He was in the boat and it changed my focus. After all, I’m His daughter, He’s my Abba-Father and because of that even in a situation like this, I couldn’t be in better hands.

Do I always do that? Respond with this confident faith? No, but I’m learning to trust this truth.

I’m not sure what you may be facing in life today or in this season of your life, but can I encourage you that Jesus is in the boat with you? He doesn’t want you to be worried, afraid, fretful, fearful, but completely at peace, full of faith, resting totally in Him no matter what may be going on around you because at any point He can stop it with just a word. He doesn’t always choose to though because He knows the good that is going to work in and through it, and praise the Lord that He’s able to work all things together for our good, hallelujah?!

Praise the Lord, this surgery complication happens sometimes and for many different reasons. And recovery has been much smoother since then, but boy was it a nerve wrecking. Maybe it was just so I could write pen these words and encourage you that He’s in the boat with us. That He’s never left you or me alone and that His love, His hope, His peace is undeniably ours.

Lord, for those reading this today, may this truth sink deep into their hearts, as I ask for You to help it sink into my own. May we be people of faith that trust whole-heartedly that no matter what– You are in the boat right beside us– no matter what we’re facing. And even if it seems like You’re asleep, unaware of what we are facing. I pray that you will help us to confess for doubting Your presence and Your Word and trust that You are with us in ways we won’t be able to fully comprehend until we are with You and we are like You in eternity. Help us, Lord, to fully know that just like you did with your disciples, you can do with us and in a moment bring peace that passes all understanding even amidst the crazy, scary, or unexplainable to us. I pray all of this in the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Because of Christ and His Love,

The Greatest Expectation

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My heart is full with hope and expectation!  Filled to overflowing.

I caught a glimpse of heaven
and I don’t want to let it go.

I know it might seem trivial or even completely off-base to some, but The P.T. Barnum-inspired movie musical The Greatest Showman is full of powerful insights if you’re looking for them.

Barnum’s ticket to success was using his human ability to bring his imaginative impossibilities to life. For him, this would provide his audiences some joy and an escape from the drudgery of everyday life (and provide an income for his family). But it ended up doing more than that. The “circus” he created overwhelmed and flooded the senses of his audiences beyond their wildest expectations in light of seeing the unimaginable come to life. That feeling of amazement in seeing and feeling the spectacular makes your heart pound. Being surrounded by the impossible – It leaves you speechless. In awe and wonder. That, my friend, is what we are headed for!

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.”

1 Cor. 2:9 NLT

And the message gets even better in the film. All those who had been hidden away in shame and darkness were able to come out and find their value and purpose. That was for the movie characters. But what about us? Those of us who are broken. Who have lived with secrets and shame. The flawed and imperfect. We have value in Christ. We find our purpose in Him. And there’s more – as He brings us out into the light of truth and grace, we find healing and wholeness. Everything we have lacked, is freely given to us.

My friends, when we accept the concept of seeing the impossible become reality and then find ourselves included in the impossible, we get a glimpse of what heaven is going to be like. All of our wildest dreams are going to come true in Him – the fullness of everything we’ve been waiting for and ever dared to hope for, the King of Glory! Every tribe, every nation will be represented before His throne. Everyone will bring their best, their differences, their scars, their everything and find it completely perfected in Him (Rev. 7:9). Can you even begin to imagine how mind-blowing this is going to be?

The reflection of God,
expressed through humanity,
completely perfected in Him.

 

This is a day I can hardly wait for!

But here’s why it matters right now. In the “Lord’s Prayer,” Jesus teaches us that we are to be praying for God’s will to be done here on earth just like it is in heaven. Do you see, Dear One? We can dare to believe the impossible is coming because it really truly is. What are you looking for? What impossible things are you dreaming of, that God can start living out through you just because you’re simply willing to believe. Wait in eager expectation for Him and watch how He shows you impossible things. Things He has desire to accomplish through you. The things He planned from before the creation of the world (Eph. 2:10). They are already starting to come true because you believe He is who He says He is and can do what He promises He will do.

“God will make this happen, for He who calls you is faithful.”
1 Thes. 5:24 NLT

When you see it – let your heart swell. Recognize it! Revel in it with the greatest expectation of what He has yet to do.

So what impossible thing has He called you to today? Withholding judgement so that you can extend some grace in that family situation? Self-control with that little one who already needs one more reminder? Maybe it’s a good attitude when the project is running behind deadline. Or perhaps it a mountain you’ve been buried under for years and you’re just trying to hang on to the will to keep going. You aren’t alone. Keep your eyes on your Father and as you step out in faith, look for the impossible to become your reality. I dare you to join me in dreaming with our eyes wide open!

Love,

 

Holiday Holes

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Ever have one of those moments that catch you off guard and jump starts the ugly cry?

That happened to me today while driving, and as I returned home afterward I heard God whisper “write about it.”

This morning after dropping the kids off at school I had the urge to text my mom, you know to just tell her about my day. This thought was odd for two reasons; one she never owned a cell phone and two she’s not among the living. I decided to voice memo what I wanted to say, had I been able.

“Hey, mom it’s Ginger, just thinking about you this morning. I’m excited to see you for Christmas. Missing the warmth of your hug, your smile, and laughter. I very much miss playing games with you. Watching you play and color with the kids was my great joy. I miss watching you and dad playful in the kitchen (or bantering). Most of all…I just miss you.”

Cancer left a mom size hole.

My mom lost her battle and won the war in life as she left this earth joined with Jesus 8 years ago. She died peacefully in her sleep. We awoke to her “resting” that morning. In a beautiful circle of love, as our family held hands around her bed, the tears just wouldn’t stop. We sang songs over her as we committed her to the hands of Jesus.

A sorrowful goodbye is rarely ever pretty, however, this was beautiful.

Waiting for the departure of her body I took pictures of her “resting”. I positioned her Bible open on her belly with a small pewter cross. Tears coated the pages as I gently placed her hands ever so delicately. Those pictures were raw and rare. They felt so bizarre at the time but to help my father in his grief I respected his wishes to take them. I understood why he needed that in some odd way. I watched as he embraced her and said his last good-bye.

To this day those pictures are a treasure that’s used to teach my children about their grandma. Each of us has experienced some loss, be it a beloved family pet, grandma, parent or perhaps a baby lost before its first breath. These are familiar stories to each of us. While others are planning joyous holiday gatherings with no apparent holes to fill we tend to withdraw.

We reflect, and we grieve all over again. Mourning the fact that life goes on without them. Watching our kids open gifts and envisioning a missing child that death robbed of that joy. Imagining how much our mom would’ve loved seeing our kids’ personalities displayed and the elation of the holidays kids exude. In these moments of raw emotion, we realize we carry those holes.

It is not just a vacant seat, an empty nursery, an invitation we are unable to send or a call we can no longer make. There is a place in our soul that deeply longs to see that person again; to hear their voice and to embrace them fully. To once again enjoy the pleasure of their company. This my friends is relationship and loss at the core.

This season as you and I face the empty places not just at the table but in our hearts, may we seek to fill those voids with the only one who can truly fill them; Jesus. He came to offer the hope of eternity, where God makes good on his promise to wipe away all the “ugly cries.”

‘And God shall wipe away all tears
from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying,
neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.‘ Revelation 21:4

Father God, I pray a spirit of peace over my dear friends who are walking hard roads of loss. Let the joy of this season shine through the personal darkness. May the empty spots around our tables remind us of your promises as we reflect on the beauty of their memories and the promise of eternity with them.

 

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You Are Valuable

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The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14:14)

Do you ever wonder if there’s more? Have you ever felt ashamed, unworthy, or insignificant? Have you ever felt alone? You, my dear one, are in great company, as many of us have faced these very same questions. In fact, that is the very heart behind the book You Are Priceless. I invited twenty-one women to join me in an effort to bring the message of the Gospel to women in the Sex Traffic Industry. We express how God has taken our moments of insignificance, shame, feelings of unworthiness, and brokenness to express some of His most beautiful work! He truly does bring beauty from the ashes and we are living proof of just that! Read more